An open letter to the perfume wearers of the world.
Dear Perfume Wearers:
You stink. Why do you cover yourselves in perfume to the point where I smell you before I see you? Why? I don't understand. And of course, you people that cover yourselves head to toe in this cloud o-smell-good don't even have the kindness or taste to pick something that is pleasant! You pick the stinkiest, smelliest, muskiest perfume in the world. Does your nose not work? Maybe you have damaged your "smeller" by wearing such noxious fumes all day every day all your life. Please don't kill my "smeller" by subjecting me to your stink a/k/a perfume.
I'm pretty sure you were never told this but perfume is to be an intimate fragrance...smelled only by those that are in close contact with you. I don't want to smell you on my furniture after you have left the room...or the house! GAG!
I am seriously contemplating faking an allergy to perfumes! I have a co-worker and any strong smells (lotions, perfume, candles, etc.) give her a headache. I can totally fake that! Don't make me start faking that! Please!? Just two squirts of your nastiness will do us all. One on the throat and one on the wrist. And it will save you money. If you don't spray fifteen or more sprays a day think of how long a bottle will actually last you. And if you buy that junk at Walgreens or CVS how good can it be anyway? I'll give you a new "signature" fragrance for Christmas if that's what you want? I know it's what I want!
I guess I'll need to add obnoxious perfume wearers to the ever growing list of pet peeves along with the slurpers and the fork biters. Please...don't make your presence know by an act that I can hear or smell without actually seeing you. Please!?
