Spanish Slang

*channelling my inner Ricky Bobby*

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus,

Please help me. I need you to help me keep my mouth closed as I hear a neighbor constantly spit out Spanish like he is cool. He can not use a proper "inside" voice and I hear him call everyone "Amigo"! Just now as he bid farewell to his BFF he said, "Hasta". Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, I ask for you to help me sit in my chair and not go beat him with a bat that is just down the hall. This man is obviously clueless. He smells like a hamster cage and is either so scared of turning on the light to wake his wife that he dresses in the dark...or he is blind. I do think that he can see because I found porn on his computer one day...so again, he must be scared of his tiny wife and dress in the dark. This man needs all the help he can get. He does not need me to yell and berate him for an act of coolness that he clearly isn't able to pull off. Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, thank you for listening to me. I hope that this letter to you will help me find some inner peace and help my neighbor in the many ways he needs help.

Thanks,
Vicky Lynn