Okay, I just can't hold it in any longer. I have to post this somewhere and I feel like only a rare few read this whereas everyone would see this on Facebook...so. Here we go. Down in the rabbit hole that are my pet peeves. Where do I start?
1. Please stop slurping! My next door neighbor at work slurps all her drinks. I really do not want to HEAR you drink your slimfast. I used to think she slurped her coffee because it was hot but now she's on a diet and she's drinking slimfast and all she does is slurp! I'm on the verge of knocking down some walls with my disgust of hearing her drink her beverages. Why was no one taught that is not only rude but gross...and as I type, she just took a big gulp...my skin is crawling.
2. PLEASE, Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, PLEASE stop scraping your fork on your teeth! I honestly don't know which is the worst offense to me. At the moment probably the slurping because it's what I'm hearing but when people eat their meals and scrape their teeth on their fork it's all I can do to stay at the table. Recently I was sharing a meal with said teeth/fork scraper. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut and continue the conversation as if nothing were wrong. I have NO idea what I said during the meal. The whole time I was seated I was envisioning myself getting up, no excuses, no comments to my fellow diner, just walking right out the door and not returning. It was making my skin crawl! Then, to top it off I start to over analyze the eating technique of my fellow diner. Most people have been on the receiving end of an awkward handshake, right? The "dead hand" guy that doesn't squeeze or shake, just throws his dead hand up there for you to hold? Yeah, watching this person eat was much like experiences a "dead hand" shake. This person would open their mouth for the fork and push the fork against their top teeth and pull! AAAAHHHH!!! Even picturing it I'm getting grossed out. Please, for all things Holy in this life, insert the fork, close your lips and pull the fork out...without the use of teeth! But, even if you couldn't break that habit at least I couldn't see you "dead teeth" the fork! You disgust me.
3. And, smacking. Most of us would think that smacking would be associated with eating, correct? Not so, my friends! I have two co-workers that make smacking sounds when they talk. SO WEIRD! Especially a certain someone, he always clamps his mouth shut and then there is this big suction sound followed by a massive smack as he is about to profoundly expound on the subject at hand. I think all the air in the room leaves as this event occurs. I can't believe the walls of his office are still standing! Then my next door neighbor (Slimfast Slurper) makes a smacking/squeaking noise every time she talks. Does her mouth create too much saliva? Does she need to see a doctor about this? I don't know but it baffles me.
4. Ah, the open mouth chewers! I have many of these in my family, I'm ashamed to say (along with some slurpers & teeth scrapers...they're everywhere)! Just last night I was getting a pedicure with a friend and we were discussing some fellow Jacksonians and I made a comment that I liked someone but I could not share a meal with her (or at least sit across from her during the meal) because she's an open mouthed chewer. My thought about this certain mouth chewer (as with most mouth chewers) is that her nose doesn't work. She must have a deviated septum or something that blocks oxygen from entering through her nose so she uses her mouth and therefore she doesn't realize that she's an open mouth chewer. Folks, come on! I do not want to see your chew your food like Mazie the Cow! Please shut your mouth!
Please do not draw any attention to yourself when you are eating...just quietly eat, drink and consume your food. PLEASE?! SERIOUSLY PLEASE!?
Okay, I could probably go on but we'll stop with the food pet peeves today. Thank you for letting me share...By the way, I know that I have appalling manners in certain areas and that overall I shouldn't judge. That is how I keep my friends and keep my mouth shut (except when the "family" part of my brain kicks in and it's out before I realize it). I will happily say that for those of my friends and family I do truly love...I honestly don't notice if you do any of this stuff...it's just the people that haven't reached that pinnacle of my inner circle.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Best Weekend...Maybe Ever!
This weekend we went to Dyer for Liz's wedding. I always love going home to Dyer but this weekend really seemed to be so much sweeter...and I'm going to get sappy so watch out!
Friday night we went to eat at the country club with my parents, grandmother and some of the Dyer crew. Nathan met us there and then Justin & Allison joined us later. The spotlight of that night was when my grandmother asked if there was going to be dancing at the reception. We told her yes. She asked if anyone was going to dance with her. My dad said he could pay someone to dance...then Nathan asked how much he was paying. At that my grandmother sat up in her chair and said, "Nathan, you should volunteer to dance with me! You shouldn't have to be paid! In my next life you're not going to get to swim in my pool, go to my lake house or sleep in my king sized bed with pretty girls." Needless to say, we were all laughed pretty hard at that. We had a good, slow night that night.
Saturday morning dawned bright...and hot! I got over to the farm about 9:00 and got put to work right away. There were flowers to arrange, chairs to position and messes to clean. We put out luminaries to guide folks for the parking and we just tried to make sure that everything was in place before it was time to go to church. Jeff spent the morning putting out luminaries and then he and Tom & Jay spent the rest of the morning getting ice for all the beverages. I think they had a good time doing that.
After lunch I went to the church to help my mom and Mrs. Doris make sure everything was ready for the ceremony. To quote my mother, "it was hotter than blue blazes out there." I played in the sprinkler at church. You know it's hot when you're a fully dressed, grown-up and you play in the sprinkler beside the church bell at church! HOT...I swear I've never seen Patti's face so red in all my life.
Then we ran home and got ready for the wedding as quickly as we could! That was entertaining and a mad house all at the same time, Scott, Jeff, Patti, Cathy and Marilyn Skiles all running around taking showers and trying to get ready. We were passing the hair dryer, hair straightener and jewelry around. We were all cracking up. At one point Marilyn was in my parents bathroom putting on makeup and my dad walked in with a towel around his waste and he said, "I'm cover...besides we're friends." Yes, folks! Only in Dyer. Man, I love Dyer.
Seeing all the different neighbors out and about helping get ready for Liz's wedding really was fun and special and it really made me grateful to be from Dyer and to know what good friends are, what good fun is and when you've got both you're blessed beyond your wildest dreams.
To top off this incredible weekend, I went to church with my parents on Sunday morning. I've pulled a lot of stunts in that church (some intentional & some not). I can remember getting to church late and everyone in the choir loft motioning for me to get up there...so what did I do? I walked through the middle of church and waved at everyone. I was told that I loved to twirl in my frilly dresses when they made the little kids get up to sing or put on a skit...I'm sure there's plenty more but overall...I can say that I am blessed to have grown up in such a loving and wonderful place as Dyer First United Methodist Church. Yesterday I was sitting there listening to the sermon and I was looking around at all the familiar faces and sites of the church. As I was sitting there the church suddenly got brighter. Logically I know that there was probably a cloud in front of the sun and after it moved things got brighter. Well, as a little girl when I would sit in church I would always imagine that was Jesus giving us a "hug" as we sat in his house. The stained glass gets brighter and the colors are reflected on the walls and it just seems warmer in the church, like you're getting a hug from your best friend. So, yesterday while I was sitting there and it got brighter I couldn't help but think I was getting another hug, surrounded by my family and some of my favorite people on this planet. It felt good. It felt really good. I hope everyone is so lucky to have a place where they feel that loved and welcome. If not, then I hope you make a trip to Dyer First United Methodist Church soon. Their arms will be open to you.
Friday night we went to eat at the country club with my parents, grandmother and some of the Dyer crew. Nathan met us there and then Justin & Allison joined us later. The spotlight of that night was when my grandmother asked if there was going to be dancing at the reception. We told her yes. She asked if anyone was going to dance with her. My dad said he could pay someone to dance...then Nathan asked how much he was paying. At that my grandmother sat up in her chair and said, "Nathan, you should volunteer to dance with me! You shouldn't have to be paid! In my next life you're not going to get to swim in my pool, go to my lake house or sleep in my king sized bed with pretty girls." Needless to say, we were all laughed pretty hard at that. We had a good, slow night that night.
Saturday morning dawned bright...and hot! I got over to the farm about 9:00 and got put to work right away. There were flowers to arrange, chairs to position and messes to clean. We put out luminaries to guide folks for the parking and we just tried to make sure that everything was in place before it was time to go to church. Jeff spent the morning putting out luminaries and then he and Tom & Jay spent the rest of the morning getting ice for all the beverages. I think they had a good time doing that.
After lunch I went to the church to help my mom and Mrs. Doris make sure everything was ready for the ceremony. To quote my mother, "it was hotter than blue blazes out there." I played in the sprinkler at church. You know it's hot when you're a fully dressed, grown-up and you play in the sprinkler beside the church bell at church! HOT...I swear I've never seen Patti's face so red in all my life.
Then we ran home and got ready for the wedding as quickly as we could! That was entertaining and a mad house all at the same time, Scott, Jeff, Patti, Cathy and Marilyn Skiles all running around taking showers and trying to get ready. We were passing the hair dryer, hair straightener and jewelry around. We were all cracking up. At one point Marilyn was in my parents bathroom putting on makeup and my dad walked in with a towel around his waste and he said, "I'm cover...besides we're friends." Yes, folks! Only in Dyer. Man, I love Dyer.
Seeing all the different neighbors out and about helping get ready for Liz's wedding really was fun and special and it really made me grateful to be from Dyer and to know what good friends are, what good fun is and when you've got both you're blessed beyond your wildest dreams.
To top off this incredible weekend, I went to church with my parents on Sunday morning. I've pulled a lot of stunts in that church (some intentional & some not). I can remember getting to church late and everyone in the choir loft motioning for me to get up there...so what did I do? I walked through the middle of church and waved at everyone. I was told that I loved to twirl in my frilly dresses when they made the little kids get up to sing or put on a skit...I'm sure there's plenty more but overall...I can say that I am blessed to have grown up in such a loving and wonderful place as Dyer First United Methodist Church. Yesterday I was sitting there listening to the sermon and I was looking around at all the familiar faces and sites of the church. As I was sitting there the church suddenly got brighter. Logically I know that there was probably a cloud in front of the sun and after it moved things got brighter. Well, as a little girl when I would sit in church I would always imagine that was Jesus giving us a "hug" as we sat in his house. The stained glass gets brighter and the colors are reflected on the walls and it just seems warmer in the church, like you're getting a hug from your best friend. So, yesterday while I was sitting there and it got brighter I couldn't help but think I was getting another hug, surrounded by my family and some of my favorite people on this planet. It felt good. It felt really good. I hope everyone is so lucky to have a place where they feel that loved and welcome. If not, then I hope you make a trip to Dyer First United Methodist Church soon. Their arms will be open to you.
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