Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Being Like Aibileen

Have you watched or read The Help? One of the main characters is Aibileen Clark. Aibileen doesn't think of herself a strong person or as a game changer but she becomes both of those things. Well, one of my favorite things about Aibileen is that she writes her prayers every night. Last night I decided that if that worked for Aibileen then maybe it would work for me. I had to go to Kroger to buy yet another prescription (more on that in a sec) and I decided to see if they had any notebooks. Well, wouldn't know you that Kroger has a very cute variety of notebooks and journals. I found a small notebook with HOPE on the front of it and knew instantly it was mine. Last night Jeff and I watched a movie and after the movie I went in the bedroom to read and I took my notebook and decided to give it a try.

HAVE MERCY FOLKS! Have you ever tried to write your prayers? I think I could have stayed up all night long thinking of people and things to pray for. And a side note, when I wrote my prayers it was a VERY different feeling than trying to say prayers! Writing is very specific. What I am praying for exactly for these people in my life? Wow, that was definitely a lesson for me. I think so many times a person, name, situation would pop in my head and I would give it an "Oh Lord, please" and kind of fade off. Writing prayers is VERY different. And...it felt good! It felt really good. I dated last night's entry and hopefully this is a good habit I can keep up and it will be very interesting to go back and read what I prayed for, who I prayed for and how my writing and my prayers will change over time. I'm pretty pumped about this. I would highly recommend giving it a try. And above all I really do feel like I gave a lot of my worries and troubles over to God to carry for me and I don't the weight of them with me today. I hope that's a feeling I can continue, too.

As for the medicine I was really at Kroger to buy...I've got acid reflux. No biggie, right? WRONG! It's been tough. At first I was gagging every morning when I woke up and at every meal and I was barely able to eat anything (If you ever want "fab abs" I can tell you how to get them!) after two trips to the doctor so far we've decided it's acid reflux that may or may not have been brought on by...anxiety! That's a new feeling for me, too! I am happy to say that today I am feeling myself and I've been on a upswing since Sunday night and I hope it continues. In no particular order I know that faith, determination, hard work, and support will really go a long way towards helping me deal with anxiety. I won't bore you with details but I will say that I know I'm not alone in dealing with anxiety and I hope you know you're not alone either and as my mom always told me, "This too shall pass."

Hope that wasn't too cheesy for you. I'll try to get back to "regular" stuff soon!

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